It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
