he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
