I hate all girls vehemently.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Randomize
