is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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