the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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