remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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