The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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