you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
