Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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