please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Randomize
