i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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