He uses pillows to masturbate.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
