elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
