thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
