oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Randomize
