I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
