it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
