Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
