I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
