i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Girls should come with a carfax report
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
