i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
