Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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