Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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