we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
two words...techno handjob
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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