I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
a search helicopter?!
cat food counts as protein by the way
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
