in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
