Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
