dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
