I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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