Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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