Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
