break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
