it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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