Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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