You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
