Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
