Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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