I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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