so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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