taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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