she woke up with a sticky ear
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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