just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
