I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
