WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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