i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
