Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
