omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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