How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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