I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
