its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
