You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
