glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
