My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
